My darling, this is very painful situation for me. Please don't think that I blame you. I know that it just my pain.
You gifted me a wonderful year, full of joy, hapinnes, rmantic and love. Your love and my love. It was a wonderfull feelings and time. Was? It is still there.
Searching for answers why it turned out thia way what it is I looked through our time again and again, through out messages ans 2700 pictures what we have send to each other. We had a great time together and both of us had a lof of hopes for the future, our future tigether. Then this uneasy time came. Time for me to learm my lessons of trust and faith. Time for us to survive in this time of separation. It was difficult because I know that I could be there with you any day and moment. But for some reasons you didn't wanted it. I thought it was because of your work, but mybe I was wrong. I was waiting for you. It was a difficult time for me, to stay already almost 2 month outside of my home, to travel when I did't wanted to trevel there (I would better come to see you and being with you). I was thinking when did it happend. Maybe when I was in Moscow. It very difficult country for me, being somewhere outside of the city with a fever, on education where I need my full concentration. I was missing you very much and specially that time when I felt unhealthy, I was dreaming just to be in your caring arms and hugs, where I can release of stress and be with someone with who I want to be. You were busy and I felt some distanse betwwen us. One morning I woke up without any message from you. I was waiting for it for the whole day, but still didn't det it. Then my brain, what was full of fever andmy body were exsousted after sleepless nights because of my coughing... I was scared and thought he will write me. I'm still important to him. At that moment I figured out that my mobile charger didn't work... I did't know that the problem was in charger, I thought it just stop charging. I couldn't write to you until I get home. I figured out that it was a problem just with a charger. Immidiately I wrote to you, despite I was very scared, that you didn't ask where is your Sashenka and is everything is good with her and her health... I saw that you don't want to talked to me... I thought you found someone else or you don't want to talk to me when I'm in a dark mood... I was making lots of post on facebook and instagram... for you... I was thinking maybe you don't want to talk to me, but maybe you will be happy to see all this things what I wanted to share with you... Everyone saw it, but not you...
I don't know how you saw it and felt this situation. But all month after when I was trying to get a contact with you I felt that you don't want it. I still didn't understand why. Why having all this feelings and desire to be with each other came this way that instead of new meeting, new talkings and plans we get a field of separation...
I have lots of things to say to you. But I don't know do you want to hear that...
The main things I want you to know, I really want you to be happy Luke. You are an amazing man I ever met. You are kind, smart, interesting, deep and I always felt myself with you like in arms of an angel, it was so good. I spend a wonderful time with you talking and walking, visiting different places and just being with you. To see your face in the morning, look in your loving eyes was the best feelings ever... And our sleepless nights... I could not even imagine that it can be So good! I missing you, my darling a lot... I missing our time and you beinng in my life.
But life is going and time is passing... I just want you to be happy with me or without me. Any woman who you chose as your beloved, your spouse and your wife will be the most happy persone in the world. You an amazing man and you deserve to be happy with someone who will make you happy, with who you will smile, with who you will like to wake us and fall asleep. With who you want to get older. I wish you to meet this persone who will see your beautiful heart and soul.
I'm very sorry that I didn't became that only one for you. But I'm very gratefull that God bessed me with a meeting with you, I'm gratefull to you that you have been with me all this year, giving me your sweet company, your support and vise advices, your time, all your energy what you put in our relationship and meeting, for all your presents and flowers, for all the time you making me smile and laught, for all that time you making me scream and moan, for all this memory, for knowing you and being your friend. Thank you, my darling, You will stay in my heart forever.